Who's Who

Who Are You?

Well, that seems rather obvious, but is it? It brings to mind the scene with the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland, blowing smoke rings as he askes "Whooo are you?"

So many of the choices we make are because of what we think others want or think of us. It stops us from trying new things, or taking risks. Our fear of failure is stronger than our sense of adventure. Children don't have these inhibitions. They do all sorts of things for the pure joy of it.

Society and it's judgmental attitudes can't be blamed for all of it. Some caution is the result of our brains becoming more capable of abstract thought. We start to see the potential consequences of our actions. This increases exponentially with adult responsibility. Shortly after I became a massage therapist, I took my boys tobagganing. As I stood at the top of the hill and surveyed the panorama below me, all I saw was breaks and sprains that would prevent me from being able to work. The last time I had a fall, it was nearly two years of recovery. So I have a healthy respect of dangerous sport.

An important part of any kind of personal change or growth is the journey of self discovery. Find out who YOU are, what makes you tick. What do you find encouraging, what do you find defeating. What works for your best friend or partner may be the exact opposite of what works for you. Pay attention to your feelings about things. Do you feel your stress drift away when you are in the woods, do you feel at home in water, are you a homebody or do you get cabin fever? Do you hate crowds or do you thrive on high energy groups. Are you an early bird or a night owl? These are indicators that will help you find the strategies that will work best for you.

It's also important to consider how your regular routine affects these factors. If you have to get up at 5 for a 6 am shift, getting up at 4:30 to work out probably isn't realistic. If you work in a noisy, crowded environment, an intense aerobics class may be overwhelming at the end of the day. If you work at a school, a lunch time walk is out, you are too busy with supervision on the playground. What you want to do on weekdays is often different that what you want to do on your day off. It can vary by season. 

Is money a motivator? Some people are more likely to follow through if they paid for a class or piece of equipment, to get their value out. I am not one of those, turns out, once I spent the money, it ceases to exist for me. I have paid for all sorts of things that I haven't followed through on. I'm also more of a gold star or tick a box kind of girl. Big rewards at the end are too abstract to be motivating for me.

Questions to ask yourself:

Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Evening?

Indoor, Outdoor, Both?

Individual, With a Partner, With a Group?

Low Intensity, Moderate Intensity, High Intensity?

Familiar or Learn a New Skill?

At Home or Take a Class?

Gadget Junkie or Low Tech?

Comfortable Routine or Lots of Variety?

Quiet, Low Music or Pump it Up?

Summer, Spring, Fall or Winter?

Strict Rules or Go With the Flow?

How much are you willing or able to spend? 

Pay as you go or Invest in equipment?

Big Rewards or Gold Stars?

Who Is On Your Team?

For years I heard that having someone to hold you accountable makes a difference, but I didn't really embrace the concept. Not only am I a fairly private person, I really don't want anyone to see me fail or struggle. A few years ago, I got a glimpse into what a difference support makes. For a couple years, I attended a Refit class, and the support and encouragement of those ladies was amazing. When it's cold outside, or you had a long day at work, it truly is motivating to know that someone will notice if you show up. Sometimes that is all the nudge we need to get out the door.

Your support system is not a single individual or even a single type. There are a lot of ways to have someone hold you accountable. It can be a friend or family member, someone you met at a class, a coach, a counsellor, a nurse practitioner. It can be someone you contact daily, someone who periodically checks in with you, someone you make appointments with. It may be someone who is trying to accomplish the same goals as you (like a study buddy), a mentor who already did what you want to do (eye on the prize), or a cheerleader (no judgement).

A workout buddy could be just what you need to try a new activity or sport. Walking into a new class by yourself can be nerve wracking.

Your doctor or nurse may be monitoring your blood pressure, weight or anxiety levels with a lot of "dos" and "do nots". 

Your co-workers may "high 5" the milestones that you report to them. 

The alarm on your phone may remind you to get up half an hour early to go for a walk before work. 

It could be your dog, who gives you those puppy eyes, when she wants to go for a walk or to play fetch.

My walking buddy, Rodeo

It could even be your garden, demanding you to go outside to weed, water, dig and harvest.

I don't have a single "buddy" that supports me in my journey. It takes a village (and a dog!). Some of the relationships are one-way, like the professional help and advice that I give my clients or get from my doctor. Some are fully two-way, like with my husband or my best friend. Others fluctuate. You may lean more on others while you are starting out, but become more of a mentor down the road once you are in your groove.

Who I lean on varies from week to week. This most recent chapter was kickstarted by my friend who is a yoga instructor. She sent me links to her online yoga classes. As I work with my clients and see how stiff pandemic shutdowns have made people, I became aware of my own muscle and joint stiffness. I am grateful that I have a job that keeps me moving and on my feel because I see everyday what sitting jobs do to people. In 2020, I was only working for 6 months of the year, that's a huge reduction in my usual movement. So I started with stretching.

Then the craziness of recent events caught up. We hadn't been cooking proper meals and relied on take out or convenience food too much. So I re-downloaded my app that tracks my food and activity. It brings awareness to my actions.

The next step was to pay attention to which of my friends were also trying to make healthy choices. We text each other periodically to announce our triumphs or remind each other to get moving.  We also share tips and motivational tidbits.

I realize how fortunate I am to work in a spa. Not only does no one think I'm strange for pulling out a yoga mat on my lunch break, I'm applauded for it. I also work a block away from a walking path by the creek, so I have plenty of opportunity. One of the ladies I work with plastered motivational quotes all over our laundry room. I am surrounded by the kind of women who build each other up, not who get catty and competitive. Pay attention to the tone of the people around you. Are they positive or negative? We can't feel good about ourselves if we are immersed in a toxic environment. Surround yourself with the people you admire and respect, who make you feel good about yourself.

Some inspiration may be unexpected, or brief. When we were busy planning my Dad's funeral, my Uncle saved our sanity by taking Rodeo for long walks. When we got home, Rodeo and I kept up the routine. I don't know if I would have started walking if my Uncle hadn't spoiled the dog!

Entertainment can also be a support. Walking is not my favorite activity, but downloading podcasts or audio books makes the time go fast. Some of my friends read or watch tv while on a stationary bike or elliptical machine. Others have walking buddies, so the visit with a friend is the entertainment. 

Work out or walking buddies serve several purposes. They can be both a cheerleader and a Drill Sargent. On the days when your motivation is low, knowing someone is counting on you gives you that push out the door. After all the enforced isolation, they are a social and mental necessity for our well-being. 

Our well-being, sense of worth, and happiness does not depend on other people, we have to find it within ourselves. That being said, many people around us have tools we can use and we have tools that we can share with others.

Find the "Who" that is you!

Find the "Whoville" village that will raise you up to the best you!