"Not To 50!"

The Whys Have It

There's a book in my husband's collection, called "New Guinea Tapeworms and Jewish Grandmothers, Tales of Parasites and People".  (I know it sounds weird, but it's actually really interesting!) Scientists are researching food born parasites, some of which are connected to ancient traditions and ceremonies around the world. I couldn't find the book to quote it exactly, but a group of researchers are discussing a tradition which involves eating raw meat when a baby is born in the village (or wedding, or some such thing). The scientists tried to explain the dangers of food poisoning and parasites, that they were risking serious illness. The locals reply was, "it's tradition"; end of discussion. These Western researchers were slightly dumbfounded and a little smugly superior about how people could be so stubborn and ignorant as to continue to practice something with such a high risk. Then the author of the book looked around the circle and realized that each one of these scientists was smoking! We constantly are doing things that we know we shouldn't.

It is not new information that in order to make lasting change, it has to come from within, and be for us. Not because someone else says we should. We are all like addicts. We are addicted to our routines, our comfort zones and familiar patterns of behaviour. It's comfortable, even if it's self destructive. We have to recognize that something needs to change, before it can change.

Why do you want to make improvements?

    Do you feel stuck in a rut?

    Do you find yourself embracing the Covid induced hermit lifestyle a little too much?

    Do you have health concerns?

    Is there an event in your future that you want to be at your best for?

    Have you been inspired by someone in your life?

(because I can make everything about massage...)

Maybe the change you want to make is a career change, that counts too. Some of the biggest changes in my life involved career changes. I went to University for 4 years, worked in my field for 4 years, and then when we moved for my husband's job, gave it up. It sounds all self-sacrificing, but it wasn't. A life, up North, in a small farming community is something we both wanted. Being a stay at home mom was another big lifestyle change. During this period we lived almost exclusively on wild meat (and one bison), I had a huge garden and did a lot of canning. It was a wonderful life, in a wonderful community.

We literally had a fish stocked pond in our yard!

Ten years later, both my boys were in school, and so was I. This is when I became a massage therapist, which is definitely my calling in life. It just took a 20 year, round about, scenic route.

Transitioning in and out of the workforce involves some of the biggest decision making we ever do. We were living primarily on one income, and I'm going to my family saying, "So instead of getting a job, I'm going to go back to school and spend $20, 000 first. You are all good with that, right?" It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

Not always easy. One weekend, when my husband was still coaching Volleyball, and I was in school, he did a gas station drop off with Grandma. My oldest, who was 7 at the time, flopped into his car seat, rather dramatically, and exclaimed to Mom, "My mother left us!"

Pursuing a career in massage was not a snap decision. I had been researching it since before that traumatized 7 year old was even born. I was inspired by a nurse who became an RMT as a second career. I researched a lot of schools, and had to go for an interview to be accepted. That level of introspection got me through the days when I tried to juggle school, work, and parenting. 

Life is short, and we spend an awful lot of it at work. Too much time to be at a place where you are not happy or fulfilled.

    

A friend and client, who is actively part of my support system, periodically presents me with challenges or food for thought. The most recent one was:

Write out 50 reasons you want to make a lifestyle change.

50 is a lot. (You get bonus points if you recognized the Princess Bride quote in the title of the post!) I have to confess, I'm maybe halfway through the list. It takes a lot of thought to come up with 50 items. The first 10 or 12 are easy, cliché almost. 

Don't get stuck here though, just because you don't have 50 things on your list, doesn't mean you can't move on to the next step.

There is a good reason for such a big number. There are a lot of different aspects to our life: self, family, friends, work; mental, emotional, and physical. When you need 50 reasons, you run out of the big ones like, "I want to be more organized", "I want to be fit" and "I want to break this habit". 

We start thinking about the future, "I want to dance and my grandchild's wedding", "I don't want to get the illness my parent had" and "I want to be healthy enough to travel in retirement."

We start acknowledging the niggling little private thoughts deep inside, "I don't want to be embarrassed to wear a swimsuit on the beach", "I don't want nicotine stains on my teeth", or "I want to have a friend over and not worry about the messy house."

We start analyzing our environment and schedule. We become aware of the things that create negativity.  "I get grumpy when I sugar crash", "I'm always yelling at the kids to clean up because there is too much clutter", or "I'm always broke because of buying cigarettes."

We start thinking about potential rewards. There are natural consequences that come with good behaviour. "With the money I save on cigarettes, I can save for something special", "When that spare room is cleared out, I can make it into a Mom-Cave", "I will be able to participate in the charity walk."

By the time you are done, not only will you know yourself a lot better, you will feel your value. There are 50 reasons why you are worth it! It's not because someone else said you should change.

When it comes to motivation, it's a lot easier to bail on one or two reasons, "one pack doesn't take all my savings", "I didn't care about fitting into that dress that much" when you are having a down day. It's quite another to tell yourself that 50 reasons don't matter. That list is something you should pull out regularly and read. Keep adding to it whenever a new thought pops in your head.

So get 50 post it notes for the fridge, pull out that pretty journal someone gave you for your birthday, make a list on your phone, or write one thing on each day of a calendar. Type it, scribble it, or practice your calligraphy. Make inspirational flashcards or write a journal entry for each one. Whatever method works for you. I'm using a journal that a client bought me and a full array of coloured markers to make a rainbow. Not every reason is epic, some are tiny. Not every reason is tangible. No one else ever has to see the list, or you can share some of it. 

It's totally up to you. 

Take the time. 

You are worth every second.