Learning How to Use Software is Not Conducive To My Peace

Ironically, trying to add a quote to this picture of Abraham Lake at sunrise made me feel anything but peaceful!

Peace

When people hear the word peace, they often think of it as a lack of conflict, struggle or stress.  Since that is wholly unattainable, I don’t think it’s a useful concept. I think of peace as having the tools to cope with situations as they arise, having confidence in your own abilities, and acceptance of what we can control. I think of the classic Serenity Prayer. When it comes to dealing with other people, it’s the realization that we can’t control how anyone else thinks or behaves, we can only control how we react to it.

When we constantly dwell on the negative, we blind ourselves to the positive. When we only look at the big picture and become overwhelmed, we are crippled by inaction. I can’t cure a pandemic, but I can do my part to make sure I don’t add to the problem. I can’t end global warming, but I can reduce my footprint. A drop of water is small, but enough of them makes an ocean. I can be a drop of water.

These are huge examples, but there are so many little everyday ones. If I allow a grumpy clerk to sour my mood, I could snap at the gas station attendant, who then snaps at the next customer and create a ripple of negativity. Or, I could take a moment to acknowledge that the clerk must have been having a long, hard day and offer them a kind word. Then they may be a little cheerier for the person behind me. Which snowball would I rather be the start of?

Only I can be responsible for my mood. Only I can take responsibility for handling it appropriately. In our house we have a code phrase, “Cave Time”. When anyone declares a need for cave time, the rest of the family gives them space. It’s a self-imposed time out and can take many forms, a nap, a book, a bath, a computer game or a walk. It could be 5 minutes or all evening.

I have also learned over the years to be less reactionary (with varying degrees of success). If I am angry about something, I wait. If I’m still angry a few hours later or the next day, it’s probably a legitimate grievance that should be addressed. If not, it probably wasn’t important enough to cause a fight (of course, that doesn’t mean I was wrong, sometimes you have to pick your battles). Another useful strategy is to vent to a neutral person (it’s a good idea to start by telling them you are just venting, so they don’t try to fix you!)

The third strategy that I have found very useful is to “be in the moment”.  If I’m working in the garden, I want all my attention in the garden, so that I enjoy every minute of it. Savour life, not bulldoze through it. I’m an avid knitter, and knit a lot in public. People often comment, “I should learn to knit.” They are startled when I respond that “no, they shouldn’t”. If they want to knit, they will do it. But there is no place in hobbies for “should”. Then it becomes another task on the “to do” list.

Filling our tool box with the means to cope with life’s stress requires some self awareness. What are the buttons that people in my life push? What factors suck energy from me (lack of sleep, being hangry)? What recharges me, am I an introvert or extrovert? How can I communicate with others to make sure I’m taking care of myself? What can I do in my environment to create a peaceful zone—a workshop to tinker in, a hammock in the backyard, going to bed early with a book, experimenting in the kitchen...

So although, world peace may be something from a fairy tale, personal peace is something we can and should strive for.

Rhomboids

So, you may have noticed by now that I really like the muscles that no one has heard of. Maybe it’s my innate dislike of following trends (I still haven’t read the Di Vinci Code, and I definitely don’t snap chat). The rhomboids are on either side of your spine. It attaches the last neck (cervical vertebrae) and the first upper back (thoracic vertebrae) to the inside edge of your scapulae (shoulder blade). Grab a family member and have them put their chin all the way down to their chest. Run your finger along their spine from the head down. The vertebrae that sticks out is C-7. It’s the last neck vertebrae.

The rhomboids primarily pull your shoulder blades together (they also assist a little with moving them up and down). Back when we did the pectoral stretches, if you did the same motion without the door frame, you would be contracting the rhomboids. When you give yourself a hug, you are stretching the rhomboids.

Remember the Hunchback? Part of the problem is overstretched, weak rhomboids. So this time we aren’t stretching the muscle, we want to strengthen it. Strong rhomboids are an important part of good posture.

Strengthening Rhomboids

Pull the shoulder blades together and hold (added bonus, your are stretching the pects)

Rowing machine—keep your elbows up, your arms are parallel to the floor, this same motion can be done with a resistance band

Stand with your back to the wall, elbows up, arms parallel to the floor (like a kid pretending to ride a Harley). Press the backs of your arms into the wall (added bonus, you are also strengthening your triceps)

Lay on your back and try to lift your spine away from floor, by only using your shoulder blades.

Did I mention that you should be breathing?

Tomorrow we get away from the desk and on to our feet! No foolin'!