Take Yourself Off Hold
The first step towards
getting somewhere is to
decide to not stay where you are.
It's been 6 months since I've sat down to write. There are a few reasons for that. Time management and energy levels were major factors. The biggest reason is that I put a lot of myself into this blog, it's not just about massage and stretches. I've shared my projects, philosophies, and our family adventures. Lately I have not been wanting to share, not wanting to grow, and not wanting to give. Ironically, now that I have sat down to write, this has gotten so big, that I'm going to section it into several posts.
For months, people have been asking me "what are you doing to take care of yourself?" My answer was usually, "I'm good, I have a good support system."
Then I realized that I wasn't actually "doing" anything. I was just existing. Yes, I have a wonderful support system. I'm surrounding by loving, generous people, but I have become passive aggressive with my own well being. "Life has sucker-punched me, so I will just take care of everyone else and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maintain routine as much as possible." I was in survival mode.
Well being has many aspects to it. Our physical, emotional, mental and intellectual health are all important. We all have times in our lives that we neglect one or more of them. Sometimes external challenges are put in our way. Students of all ages have had numerous disruptions to learning. An injury may prevent your preferred choice of exercise. Altered working conditions may bring added mental and physical strain into your life.
I have never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. It's an arbitrary date to make life changes, and people actually expect them to fail. Life changes can be made on any day, at any time of day. Resolutions tend to be vague, sweeping statements. To truly improve any aspect of our lives, we need a concrete plan with achievable goals.
The desire for improvement usually has a catalyst of some sort. A job ending or a move may trigger going back to school. An incident may make you realize you aren't coping with stress as well as you would like. Stay at home orders leave you stuck at home, or suddenly homeschooling, and your whole routine is different.
Since I look at the world through a massage therapist lens...
I have noticed a variety of effects on my clients from the past year:
Job loss or reduced financial security has reduced appointments for treatment.
Surgeries have been postponed.
Elderly clients aren't going out, so they aren't getting their treatments.
Working from home has affected ergonomics, leading to back pain and repetitive strain injuries.
Sports and workout routines have been disrupted.
Muscles are stiff and losing tone because they aren't being used like they were.
People have lost access to their support systems (social groups, teams, church, etc.)
Anxiety about potential illness is high.
Frustration with restrictions is high.
Children's routines have been disrupted.
Family dynamics have been altered.
As a result, stress levels are high and tension headaches are rampant. People's muscle are stiff and joints are creaky because we don't move enough. Alcohol and junk food consumption is high. The initial reason for starting this blog was to assist people with their pain, when they can't go for treatment.
Many off us have dropped the ball when it comes to self-care. It's not all about comfort food, rom coms and bubble baths. We have come to mistake self indulgence and "me time" as self care. Would we think that endless tv and treats are good parenting? If it's not good for our kids, it's not good for us. We know that our dogs get squirrely when they don't get fresh air and exercise, shouldn't we have the same standards for ourselves?
Growth and change require a bit of reflection. I'll be honest, I often like to avoid reflection. If I become self aware, it's so much harder to sweep destructive habits under the rug! Self improvement takes work, and I wanna be a lazy, procrastinating, couch potato! I do, however, like lists. So let's take stock.
When I'm helping my boys with an assignment (English or Social Studies - because let's be honest, their Dad does all the Math and Science), I always start them with who, what, where, when, why and how. Once those questions are answered, you are almost done. Then there's only the details left. So I think that is the logically way to proceed with the blog. So we are going to start with "What".
And suddenly you just know that it's time to
start something new, and trust in the magic of beginnings
What changes do you want to make?
Sometimes we get stuck here, there are so many possibilities that we get overwhelmed and quit before we start. We don't have to improve every aspect of our life at once, and it doesn't need to be complete in a week. Unrealistic expectations are one of the barriers we put up to put off.
If our goal is to "Get Healthy" it is too vague, with little chance of success, if that is the extent of your plan. What does healthy even mean? How do you do it? When do you know if you are successful? Am I concerned about an addiction like smoking, my weight, my blood pressure, diabetes, cancer risk, energy levels, poor sleep?
Perhaps your goal is to declutter your life. Emptying out your whole house of all clutter is too big of a job. It's overwhelming and crippling. Start with a room or closet. Or pick a category, like toys that have been outgrown.
Some improvements are things we want to remove from our lives, some we want to add. Not every item needs to be ongoing. Some things can be a one time event, like making an appointment with a health care provider (i.e. get glasses, orthotics).
Some require a fair amount of work at the beginning, like learning to cook without gluten or salt. Once you have done the research, bought the substitute groceries and collected the recipes, the plan can be followed in the future without much decision making.
Some improvements to your lifestyle will have a positive effect on others, so it would make sense to choose those first or in combination. For example if you want to exercise more and quit smoking, it's easier to exercise when you have better lung capacity. Losing weight will lower blood pressure.
One goal could be a coping skill for the other; instead of going outside for a smoke break, go for a 15 min walk around the block. Two birds, one stone.
One may have the potential to make another harder. Many people gain weight when they try to stop smoking, so they may want to be a little more aware of the snacking hazards in the home or office.
Outside conditions make a new habit difficult. I want to drink more water, but I have to wear a medical mask at work, so I can only drink on my breaks. So it's probably a good time to also cut down on coffee, only drink it a home, don't take it to work. Then when I am on break, I'm making the better choice.
Take some time, not too much, and pick one specific goal. Something that is quantifiable, that you can measure progress or know when it's complete. In the series of posts to follow, we will talk about how to make that happen.
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